


If you need me

by rosebayard



Series: Looking after Sebastian [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Caretaking, Comfort, Coughing, Hurt Sebastian Michaelis, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Injury Recovery, M/M, Pneumonia, Sharing a Bed, Sick Sebastian Michaelis, Sickfic, Vulnerability, Whump, looking after Sebastian, mild throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosebayard/pseuds/rosebayard
Summary: “If you mean by worrying you, I assure you, it was not my intention,” Sebastian said thickly, then grimaced at his voice, he was so congested that half his syllables sounded miserable and blurred. Sebastian rubbed his chest with his palm, feeling rather at a loss for how to make himself feel better.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive
Series: Looking after Sebastian [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139456
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	If you need me

**Author's Note:**

> Sebastian is still very ill after the events of ‘Book of the Atlantic’. There is no context needed though, this is just 100% sickfic :3 <3
> 
> tw: one incident of throwing up, but he mainly has pneumonia-ish symptoms (as much as a demon can)

“Did you splutter all over this?” Ciel said grumpily, when Sebastian returned to their cabin and presented him with a suspiciously half-empty mug of warm milk. “I could hear you coughing from halfway across the ship.”

“Ah, no, I promise I didn’t,” said Sebastian, peering regretfully up at Ciel from where he knelt. He’d been coughing so hard that half the milk had spilt down his sleeve while he walked, and he’d been holding the cup at an awkward angle away from himself in the first place. “I did my best to turn away.”

Ciel remained decidedly unimpressed as Sebastian coughed himself through their evening routine however, which at the very least, cheered Sebastian a little more than when Ciel seemed worried. It wasn’t a butler’s role to upset his Lord, and it made Sebastian feel oddly heavy every time Ciel tensed-up over his fits of hacking. Sebastian still didn’t seem to be able to help it, as much as he tried.

“-ugh-” Sebastian choked quietly, as he stood by Ciel’s bed. Now that his young master had finally drifted to sleep, Sebastian only had to work on keeping quiet enough not to disturb him, and even that was so far proving difficult. There were no separate quarters for servants on the freight vessel, so Sebastian had to make do with hurrying toward Ciel’s washroom, his glove firmly clamped over his mouth to hold-in his cough. If he kept this up, by morning Ciel would be exhausted.

Sebastian managed to get the washroom door closed behind him before his body completely gave way. Holding one arm tightly around his middle, he keeled forward, coughing forcefully into the palm of his hand. The low, sticky weight to his outburst was uncannily reminiscent of a pneumonia ward, and as much as Sebastian didn’t want to cause further trauma to his injuries, he couldn’t seem to dislodge the remaining tacky wetness from his chest without being too loud. It was fortunate that Ciel was still in relatively good health as it was, and Sebastian felt strangely abysmal over the fact that right now, it was his own poor restraint that was posing the greater risk to his human’s wellbeing.

Sebastian stood up and steadied himself on the basin, took a few wheezing breaths, then muffled a last reluctant cough into his hand. When he drew his palm away, he was relieved to see there was nothing staining his glove. Unbuttoning his shirt, Sebastian took stock of the makeshift bandage he had crafted from Ciel’s bedsheet. So far, there was no fresh blood seeping from the wound either. If Sebastian could simply ensure Ciel received a decent night’s sleep, then the two of them would be in a far better position come morning.

 _You know how to call, if you need me,_ Sebastian thought, as he soundlessly slipped from Ciel’s cabin. He shut the door without glancing back, not wanting to be snared in the reluctance he sometimes felt when leaving Ciel alone. It was a useless sentiment regardless, as Sebastian knew he would sense any danger to Ciel whether he was summoned or not.

Treading lightly, the demon didn’t care to be seen as he made his way up toward the deck of the cargo ship. Approaching the spot where he and Ciel had taken some fresh air earlier, Sebastian felt an uncomfortable heat rise to his cheeks when he saw the decking was dry and spotless. It was the same area where he’d been violently ill earlier, and Sebastian deeply regretted not being able to make amends for his unseemly behaviour himself. While Sebastian could hardly fault the ship’s crew for cleaning and taking care of the matter before he arrived, the failure didn’t sit well with him.

 _Perhaps by preparing a nice breakfast for everyone-_ Sebastian thought, but the abrupt, harrowing cough that jostled out of him was enough to put a dampener on the idea. He doubted the kitchenhands would take any more kindly to his spluttering than his young master, let alone anyone he was serving. Drawing a lungful of cool, night air, Sebastian tried to subdue the fit in the crook of his arm, his nose pressed against the warmth of his sleeve as more unwelcome coughs burst out of him. The muscles in his torn ribcage twinged uncomfortably, and Sebastian rubbed his chest with his palm, feeling rather at a loss for how to make himself feel better.

“The chill won’t help much with your cold,” a familiar voice said behind him, and Sebastian turned. Sebastian had already vaguely sensed the youth’s presence from the moment he stepped onto the deck, but for what it was worth, Snake was one of the few humans that Sebastian felt little need to track or mind.

“…says Wordsworth,” Snake finished quietly. Snake had appeared quite unassumingly from the shadows, holding out his scarf. If he was concerned for Sebastian, he didn’t let it cross his features, which Sebastian felt oddly grateful for.

“You’re right. And I should know better. Thank you,” Sebastian said. After a moment’s hesitation, Sebastian stretched out his fingers and accepted the scarf, then wrapped it twice around his shoulders, covering his mouth and nose with the warm material. Snake could see Sebastian’s eyes crease somewhat kindly above the nest of fabric, a gesture which reassured Snake, even though the crackle of Sebastian’s breathing and the huskiness to Sebastian’s voice really didn’t.

“The way you’re standing. Did you get hurt while you were getting off the ship?” Snake turned to pet one of the reptiles nestled snugly beneath his jacket, perhaps to allow Sebastian some consideration if he didn’t want to answer. “…says Oscar.”

Sebastian was surprised that his discomfort had been noted at all.

“Hm. A bit before that, actually,” Sebastian said amicably, then gently patted his chest again, trying to hush the trembling, creeping stickiness in his lungs that warned him that he was going to need to cough.

“But I’m quite certain I’m already on the mend,” Sebastian added lightly, wondering if he should excuse himself before the outburst was upon him. Even through the scarf, the cold air was tickling every part of Sebastian’s chest that felt clogged and oversensitive, and he had little desire to discomfort yet another human in his care.

“Really? Because you look a bit gloomy. I thought you and Smile might’ve had a row,” Snake offered, his features warmed slightly with a smile. “…says Emily.”

“A row?” Sebastian gave a huff of amusement, glad at least that he didn’t look so unwell that the rest of the household couldn’t poke fun. “I’d hardly look _gloomy_ if-”

The rest of the retort was lost, however, when Sebastian’s laugh ended in a choked-sounding cough that seemed to dredge up his entire lungs. Sebastian’s eyes flashed wide with disbelief as his hand flew to his mouth, he hadn’t quite expected that to sound so desperately ill-mannered.

“-sorry-” Sebastian sputtered between coughs, then made the mistake of reflexively sucking in as much chilled air as he had just coughed out, the sudden, splintered feeling in his chest making him feel lightheaded and breathless. “-I beg your-”

Sebastian steepled both his hands over his face as he bent from the waist to cough. Staggering to one side, Sebastian tried to catch his balance and cough toward the ground instead, his eyes watering as the icy air wrestled from his chest. It was cold enough for his voice to mist in the air, and Sebastian gave a sharp hiss as his coughing fogged behind his hands, looking eerily transient, then quickly fading against the pitch dark of the sky.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay… don’t panic… just breathe slow… says..”

Sebastian could hear Snake’s voice over the aching coughs in his throat, then felt himself being steadily held around his middle, gently pulled up and supported over Snake’s shoulder. It was a far less jarring position to cough in, and Sebastian hurriedly tucked his scarf more firmly over his face, the kitted wool feeling scratchy on his tongue as he sputtered, then coughed uninhibitedly, Snake calmly holding him all the while. Sebastian’s chest was burning, and in spite of his companion’s advice to breathe slowly, every gulp of air Sebastian managed to take seemed to want to claw its way out of him without remorse.

“I was sick earlier-” Sebastian said hoarsely, after a particularly relentless cough seized every muscle in his stomach and left him shaking. Sebastian sniffled, then pulled down the scarf to pinch his nose between his thumb and forefinger, unable to find a tissue.

“I can believe it,” Snake nodded, gently patting between Sebastian’s shoulders.

“No, I mean… please don’t let me,” Sebastian gasped, panted, then nearly gagged into his cupped hand, his body desperate to be rid of the lingering effects of the Shinigami’s wound. “-don’t let me-” Sebastian tried to push himself away, but found his grip weak and trembling, saliva pooling in his mouth. He gagged again, his shoulders twitching with the exertion. “-don’t allow me to be sick on you-”

“-No, I _won’t_ let you-”

Sebastian found himself interrupted by an unmistakably imperious voice across the deck, and he wrenched himself aside purely with the willpower of needing to meet Ciel’s stare. True to form, Ciel had dressed himself messily without his butler’s help, his shirt stuffed behind his rumpled jacket and his laces untied. But there was such a forceful indignance about the way that he held himself, staring daggers at the ailing Sebastian, that Sebastian couldn’t help a weak smile.

“And you! Why haven’t you dragged him back inside yet!” Ciel demanded of Snake, who looked genuinely apologetic and mumbled something about understanding not wanting to be in a cage.

“Oh dear. You really… shouldn’t be out of bed.. so early in the morning, young master,” Sebastian said mildly, before a last shuddering cough was about all his damaged form could take, and an obscene amount of black liquid spouted from his mouth, splattering unceremoniously between Sebastian and Ciel’s shoes.

The last thing the demon remembered thinking, was that he actually felt a little bit better after that, and as humiliating as it was, there was something novel and comforting about being sure someone was about to catch him from his fall.

-

“You’ve had an awful lot of fun this evening haven’t you?” Ciel said scathingly. “Even Snake is convinced you’re coming down with pneumonia.”

Sebastian groggily blinked his eyes open as he came around. He was laying on his side on Ciel’s mattress, it appeared that his young master had also seen fit to remove his shirt and waistcoat, as well as his shoes.

“If you mean by worrying you, I assure you, it was no fun at all,” Sebastian said thickly, then grimaced at his voice, he was so congested that half his syllables sounded miserable and blurred. Sebastian clumsily travelled his fingers to the bandage wrapped around his chest, and found with surprise that this too had been changed.

“Yes, your little midnight adventure caused you to bleed right through the other one. Are you pleased with yourself?”

Sebastian momentarily closed his eyes, supressing a pained groan. His wound certainly hadn’t fared any better for his coughing attack.

“No, I’m not pleased with myself,” Sebastian said honestly, then sniffled as politely as he could manage. Sebastian had to admit, if anyone sounded a fraction pleased it was the young Lord, who seemed to be quite enjoying giving him a scolding. Well, Sebastian thought, I suppose I do deserve it.

Drawing a hesitant breath, Sebastian tried to swallow, then winced as a few syrupy-sounding coughs tumbled out of him. He lifted his head from Ciel’s pillow as best he could, trying to aim them into his shoulder.

“-pardon,” Sebastian choked, thankful at least that Ciel chose to avert his eyes long enough for Sebastian to wipe his mouth on the back of his hand.

“…Sebastian?” Ciel said quietly. Sebastian was trying to rise from the bed without stirring up another coughing fit and undoing all of his young Lord’s hard work on his bandages.

“…you’ve told me it’s possible for demons to occasionally sleep. I want you to stay here and sleep.”

Ciel’s stare was enough to halt Sebastian’s efforts to move, though Sebastian could hardly miss the uncertainty in Ciel’s words. His young master hadn’t yet made it an order, and while Sebastian would of course still do his bidding, that did leave a certain room for making sure this was exactly what the young Lord wished.

“Hm? And where will you sleep, young master? Are you quite sure it’s wise to sleep next to a half-starved demon, when one is in the possession of the only essence that could possibly heal me?”

Ciel’s brows knotted together in a deep frown, his cheeks flushing red in irritation. Sebastian gave an apologetic little scoff, his lips quirking in amusement at the result of his teasing.

“Are you delirious with fever too? Go to sleep and stop being a nuisance,” Ciel said hotly, then crossed his arms, glaring at the demon in question to make sure Sebastian at least closed his eyes.

Sleep, as Sebastian soon discovered, was not so easy for an ill demon to induce as his young master may have hoped. But he did take care to breathe steadily, and to make his body go limp, and to keep his eyelids vaguely shuttered, so that if the chance of sleep did well up in him, Sebastian would be able to take it.

Laying still did seem to have soothed the rattling in his lungs, however, which Sebastian supposed had been the point. Well, Ciel’s point. To Sebastian, the only important matter was that his young charge was now sleeping soundly at his side, his breathing calm and heavy, untroubled by the nightmares that often plagued him. At times Ciel drifted toward him, sleepily rubbing his palm over Sebastian’s chest every time his butler quietly cleared his throat.

In his current condition, Sebastian couldn’t be entirely sure that he would remain in his human form if he _did_ fall asleep. Though Ciel was nothing but aware of what Sebastian truly was, Sebastian still couldn’t quite make peace with the thought of Ciel waking with his hand reaching into the very definition of a nightmare.

 _Half-asleep it is then_ , Sebastian thought, then coughed softly, turning into his pillow rather than Ciel’s hair, since he had been told off for the latter more than once. Ciel’s smaller frame unconsciously curled closer into Sebastian’s front. Sebastian remembered feeling warm.

-

“Let him rest,” Ciel murmured the next morning, when Snake had been surprised to find Ciel awake first and Sebastian sleeping deeply beside him.

“He’s really out cold? …says Oscar,” Snake whispered in surprise. Sebastian’s features were soft and blurry, his mouth slightly open and his hair spilling across his face.

“It seems so,” Ciel muttered in reply. In truth, he wasn’t exactly sure what he’d find if Sebastian actually went to sleep. But, far from his nefarious suspicions, he’d simply woken to find his butler looking rather sickly, and holding Ciel to his chest like some sort of hot water bottle, even though Sebastian himself felt far warmer than usual. It had taken a whole ten minutes to extricate himself from the damn demon’s arms without waking him, and then Ciel had to use his last clean towel to make a cold compress for Sebastian’s brow, he wasn’t used to seeing Sebastian soaked in sweat.

“Snake. Let’s go down to the kitchens and see if there’s any breakfast,” Ciel said briskly, pushing aside whatever emotion that unfamiliar sight had made him feel. “…and don’t give me that look.”

Snake nodded, giving Sebastian a last reassuring pat on his shoulder before following. Even though Ciel once again looked like he had dressed himself with his eyes closed, Snake couldn’t help remembering the way Sebastian’s expression had changed when Ciel had come to his rescue during the night. He couldn’t help think Sebastian would sleep easier knowing, even if there wasn’t any breakfast, they would manage.

-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! <3 a few mentioned they wouldn't mind reading more Sebastian sickfic after the previous, so I thought I'd make a second for some more caretaking! :_) I hope you enjoyed, comments or kudos are always loved and appreciated! ;w;


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